I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
