I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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