Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
