yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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