Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He did a backflip because drugs
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