I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
