Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
