where does the pee come out of this thing
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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