real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
