this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
