I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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