I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
