After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
