Where did you get a picture of my penis
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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