I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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