Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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