I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
