She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
