Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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