She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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