Kiss
Puke
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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