tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I could fuck to npr.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
