are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
