got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize