hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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