im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Randomize
