I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
All the doctor said was why
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize