This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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