Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
