talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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