You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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