ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
