remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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