somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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