you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
