I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
