if i can run in heels then i can drive
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
