Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
