Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
