I just made out with a guy for $7.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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