Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Randomize
