Cold hands, warm shart.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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