Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
