i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
