if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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