Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
