we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
