Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
