btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
