I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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