The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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