I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history