go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT