Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.