Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right