Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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