Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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