Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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