pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize