i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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