I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
