Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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