we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
