if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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