evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
