there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
