youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...