ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me