TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I look better un-naked...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
and you fell through a lawn chair
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
