Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.