if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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