with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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