Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
