READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
